Many wonder why my search for my birth family was so important to me. This article is a personal reflection on the issues I have faced because my biological heritage was hidden from me. This problem is common among closed adoptions where someone else decides for us that knowledge of our genetic heritage is not important. I am fortunate to have been adopted by a wonderful loving Mom and Dad. This does not make up for the fact that our society’s inhumane adoption policies have resulted in even the most basic information about inherited life threatening medical issues and answers to my sense of self questions being withheld from me.
I know I am not the only adoptee who has looked in the mirror with a longing for answers. Why do I have the traits I have ? or Where did I get that characteristic? Psychologists call this “genealogical bewilderment”. Many of our genetic biological traits and physical characteristics are passed from generation to generation. There are the obvious biological traits such as general appearance, color eyes, height and weight. There are also numerous aspects of our core identity that I am convinced are part of our genetic makeup. It is essential for a complete understanding of our sense of self that we have access to our genetic history.
There is also the importance of knowledge about medical conditions that are passed in our genes from generation to generation. As I grew older it got more and more difficult to answer my physicians simple questions such as “Any history of heart disease?” with “I don’t know I’m adopted.” What if there were generations of early death due to the some inheritable cause? Why would anyone not want me to know that? And yet that is exactly the position I found myself in. The information I obtained from my birth mother enabled me to make lifestyle changes that very likely saved my life. The information from my birth fathers family will probably do the same. I hope visitors who can help will see the difference they can make in my life and will have the compassion to do so.